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(Source: plethoraofchains, via kdizzlejuggalizzle)
| Me: | Hello? |
|---|---|
| Telemarketer: | Hello, is your mother home? |
| Me: | I have no mother. |
| Her: | Well can I speak to your father? |
| Me: | Yeah, which one? |
| Her: | Which one is home? |
| Me: | Well they're both home..but I don't think you want to talk to Carlos. He just went through a breakup with his boyfriend, Antonio. |
| Her: | Oh, so your fathers' names are Carlos and Antonio? |
| Me: | No, no! My fathers' names are Carlos and Mark. |
| Her: | So who's Antonio? |
| Me: | I just told you, Carlos's ex. |
| Her: | So Carlos was cheating? |
| Me: | Yes, but that's only because Mark was cheating with Edith, our neighbor. |
| Her: | So Carlos cheated only because Mark cheated? |
| Me: | No, he THOUGHT Mark was cheating. |
| Her: | So Mark wasn't cheating? |
| Me: | I never said that. |
| Her: | Yes, yes you did! |
| Me: | No I didn't. |
| Her: | Y-yes! You did! |
| Me: | Did what? |
| Her: | Y-you- Never mind have a nice day, goodbye. |
(Source: doyoumeanobsessed, via kdizzlejuggalizzle)
(Source: trip-itonmyd, via thegirlsajezebel)
Preparing to leave the neighborhood as soon as it gets too damned “family friendly”
ha no shit
LOL!
(Source: abder-dinozzo)
wut
but… why?
Oh no really though….
(Source: chocolatehoneybunny)
(Source: betodeejay, via wonderwomanbj)
(Source: fuckslutena, via creepyboners)
